Do you ever find yourself cranky and not really know why? Ok, maybe I'm not just cranky. I am extra, extra irritable today. Not sure why. I got the normal amount of sleep...very little. My kids are normal...well, I am having to repeat a few extra times, not sure if I am just more aware of it today than other days, or that I REALLY am repeating extra. Things that haven't been bugging me are causing those little ants that crawl on my insides (yes I know that is not normal and there is medication for that...thank you).
My poor sister I think is hiding in her room. She came to live with us in December after surviving a ruptured brain aneurysm. She is on her road to recovery and in the grand scheme of things doing amazingly (truly by the grace of God). Usually her spilling is just apart of it all and I would rather her be trying and spilling than accepting her current abilities and not trying at all. But today, a bowl of pineapple (juices and all) are enough to send me over the hill. As I come walking into the sticky mess, I can't seem to hide my irritation. Really Lacy? It's just a sticky floor. Well, two sticky floors because it was the dinning room and some how a big wide river to the kitchen floor...that was then walked through. :) And for some reason it seems to be sticking to me!
My sweet precious angels. Oh how I love them. Why when the directions were stated, "Go up and get dressed and start straightening up your room."; did they hear, "Go upstairs and get all of mom's jewelery out and string it in different places in mom's room."?
For some reason today this small little instances (because let's face it, they really are small), seem so big and grate on me. Not only do they make me fume, but I can't seem to shake them. Sometimes I can get some perspective and reel myself back in. You know those conversations you have with yourself? Tell me I am not the only one that has those right? I can't even seem to bring myself to want to have those conversations.
I want to wallow in my irritation. I want to complain and hear the fist pumping "yeahs!" agreeing with me.
Maybe I just need a moment. Not a moment with that chocolate cake that is sitting on my counter. Even that is bugging me. It is so messy and every time someone moves it, it seems to make a horrible mess. Making it's way to the floor for people to walk on and smoosh into the carpet and wood floor. Ugh. I don't know what kind of a moment. I mean, I don't know what it would look like.
I know, this is all selfish. Prayin' Jesus doesn't come today, I would probably be irritated by His entrance.