Do you ever find yourself cranky and not really know why? Ok, maybe I'm not just cranky. I am extra, extra irritable today. Not sure why. I got the normal amount of sleep...very little. My kids are normal...well, I am having to repeat a few extra times, not sure if I am just more aware of it today than other days, or that I REALLY am repeating extra. Things that haven't been bugging me are causing those little ants that crawl on my insides (yes I know that is not normal and there is medication for that...thank you).
My poor sister I think is hiding in her room. She came to live with us in December after surviving a ruptured brain aneurysm. She is on her road to recovery and in the grand scheme of things doing amazingly (truly by the grace of God). Usually her spilling is just apart of it all and I would rather her be trying and spilling than accepting her current abilities and not trying at all. But today, a bowl of pineapple (juices and all) are enough to send me over the hill. As I come walking into the sticky mess, I can't seem to hide my irritation. Really Lacy? It's just a sticky floor. Well, two sticky floors because it was the dinning room and some how a big wide river to the kitchen floor...that was then walked through. :) And for some reason it seems to be sticking to me!
My sweet precious angels. Oh how I love them. Why when the directions were stated, "Go up and get dressed and start straightening up your room."; did they hear, "Go upstairs and get all of mom's jewelery out and string it in different places in mom's room."?
For some reason today this small little instances (because let's face it, they really are small), seem so big and grate on me. Not only do they make me fume, but I can't seem to shake them. Sometimes I can get some perspective and reel myself back in. You know those conversations you have with yourself? Tell me I am not the only one that has those right? I can't even seem to bring myself to want to have those conversations.
I want to wallow in my irritation. I want to complain and hear the fist pumping "yeahs!" agreeing with me.
Maybe I just need a moment. Not a moment with that chocolate cake that is sitting on my counter. Even that is bugging me. It is so messy and every time someone moves it, it seems to make a horrible mess. Making it's way to the floor for people to walk on and smoosh into the carpet and wood floor. Ugh. I don't know what kind of a moment. I mean, I don't know what it would look like.
I know, this is all selfish. Prayin' Jesus doesn't come today, I would probably be irritated by His entrance.
Lacy, you wouldn't be human if you didn't have days like this. We all do. Sounds like you need a redo. Tomorrow will be a new day!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Atleast pineapple juice smells good! :)
I'm having fun reading these!
ReplyDeleteIt's things you don't talk about as easy as writing them. I think you have a gift here.
Keep up the good work babe!
I Love You!
ReplyDeleteJust blog hopping by from Blog Frog and was mentally nodding going I hear ya! Been there bought the tshirt etc... and then cracked up at the last line!
ReplyDeleteA few days ago I had the joy of finding my 6 year old had 'tested' a crayon on the wall in a big way then lied about it and let me think it was her 1 year old sister (as if!). So we were cleaning it up together (we rent so my bp was going through the roof) and then I come out and find my 8 year old has in the mean time been defacing some art (ok, a sketch) I had done that day. Needless to say, I hit the roof! Good thing Jesus didn't come THAT day either!
Ok So I read Number 4 first and then this post. Number 4 was so your moment.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I know about days like these! If there's time I try to write a couple lines in my journal, otherwise I just bite my tongue and rant in my head until I feel better. :0)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I pretty much have been feeling a lot like that lately...just trying to adjust to having two kids and not ever seeming to get spring!! I feel cooped up and just annoyed at everything!! Following you now...suitedreems.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteHere is your fist pumping "YEAH" I so get it, EUCHARISTEO right? Ugh, trying to get through those times where really we are just focused on what WE want and sometimes desperately need, "ORDER"
ReplyDeleteWe just want order, for everyone to just fall in line and never mess up, I so get it; we forget how much we mess up and that we are not in order. It can be so hard when you are the only one trying to keep this machine well oiled and running efficiently, but life is messy and and at times complete chaos. So hang in there you are doing great, God is working in you and your girls will reflect that desire to please God as you continue to live it and admit you are not perfect. Thanks for sharing your messy but God seeking journey with the rest of us messed up followers of Christ.