Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Do you?

Just never mind, it's too hard.

Not the actual being together (although let's face it...there are days that maybe a struggle too!)  We have never made it a priority or had a routine or ritual.  Life just happens.  He has his own business, which means many a times are we together as a "family" while he is on the phone with clients, other businesses, etc.  It's just how it is.  Since we live in the beautiful north west, weather can also dictate a work schedule. Not that he stops in the rain, snow, or ice, but if it is a nice Saturday or Sunday; he can be found pouring concrete or rolling trusses.

Many a days does he come home exhausted, worn out.  Only to sit up at night working on bids for future jobs, sending emails, getting price quotes.  Then to get up before the sun to head off to put it all together.

He works extremely hard and has sacrificed so much.

Now a days with my sister and her therapy schedule thrown into the mix, it just makes things that much more crazy with the family.  And getting someone to be with  all of them is a little tricky.  There are a limited number of resources available to us while she is in her recovery.

The other day my dad offered to take all three so Ben and I could be a lone for a bit.  He said, "You choose either Friday or Saturday just let me know what day and what time."  Uh....I don't really know what to do with that.

So when I talk to my husband, "Not Saturday, it's poker night."  My husbands once a month testosterone gathering.  Which really is fine by me.  I am not one for wanting to be out late, and by late I mean past 7 pm.  By that time I would much rather be on my couch in my sweats cuddling with my girls.  And I would rather do something during the day anyway.  (Hence us never doing anything!)

It was just too hard to try to coordinate.  So just never mind forget it.

As I am sitting in the car prepping myself for another doctors appointment....I hear it.  A woman, like me.  A wife, like me.  A mother, like me.

Talking about how she has had to fight for that time with her husband.  Not that she was fighting with him.  She says no to others and their things so she can say yes to her husband.

Yet even when offered time away for a moment, it still seems hard...why is that?  Why can I easily fill in my hours of piano lessons, swimming lessons, physical therapy, speech therapy, make dinner, clean up dinner....yet one on one time with the person I have a made a covenant with God to be with

What do you do to make sure you have that time alone with your spouse?


  1. Well.... You could accept the offer and escape for a little while with your sweetie? Just saying...

  2. I just now read this...BUT! Before I did I told Lacy I was going to take the Friday before my Test-fest Poker Night with the guys and take her up to Port Townsend to go look at furniture and maybe just walk by all the neat stores.
    I am learning to LOVE blessings, I am learning to LOVE people, and I am learning to live as if I am a branch and HE is the vine....

    I love you babe!

  3. So relate. Thanks for reminding me. A friend told me today she wants to babysit for an evening so we can have a night out. I was seriously thinking of blowing it off. But seriously. That was a gift from God. I need to make the time, and say yes. You too. Lets make a pinky swear that we will take the time this month to have a date out with the man we love even though it's easier to brush it off. K.

  4. I LOVE this discussion and Ben, you are a great example of a loving husband who initiates the act of spending time as ONE!!

  5. I would totally find a way to work out having that date. We've only begun to finally get to date again because we have no family willing to help out or that live close enough to really. Our oldest is 14 1/2! We had the kids enrolled in Awanas on Weds nights and that was our date night last year. This year we changed churches but they still have a Weds night thing for the kids so we've been able to keep our regular date nights. Once in a while, we have the oldest babysit so we can go to a movie or something.

    Don't wait 12 years like we did to get regular date nights. You NEED them to stay together, happily. If you prefer to be at home, set a specific time that is for the two of you every night, no matter what and stick to it.

    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God